An Introvert’s Guide to Networking

You’ve signed up for a couple of in-person conferences.

You want to branch out and grow your career, and you know you have to be in front of people and not a screen to do it.

And you’re an introvert.

How are you going to thrive, and not just survive, in an environment not quite suited for your unique energy?

Let’s start by defining introversion. According to Psychology Today, introversion is “characterized by a preference for the inner life of the mind over the outer world of other people.” It’s NOT shyness, as too many people believe. We love people, but in doses. (Yes, I’m an introvert.) One-on-one conversations are their sweet spot, and crowded rooms and cocktail parties can be difficult places to be.

That is the exact scenario introverts will find themselves in when they attend business summits and conferences. There are crowded rooms full of people they don’t know (or may know, virtually), and there are chances for them to connect to people and have great conversations.

For an introvert, these events can be overwhelming and exhausting. Training sessions, keynotes, breakouts, dinners—nonstop interactions with few chances to replenish their energy, and continue to show up well.

There is nothing wrong with your introversion. Especially in the U.S., extroversion is seemingly more preferred. Americans tend to be a more outgoing group, and quietness is seen as something to be feared or questioned. Neither orientation is morally wrong.

How many of us have had someone come up at an event and ask: is something wrong? You’re very quiet.

We may look quiet on the outside, but we are observing the scene and taking it all in. We are gathering ideas and insights to help us in our careers and in our lives.

As an introvert going to a conference, you’ll have to come out of hiding. And, you can thrive in an environment that’s not perfectly suited for you. You can do it in a way that honors your unique energy.

In other words, you don't need to transform into an extrovert to thrive at conferences.

What are some things you can do to make a conference work well for you?

Plan ahead

Know going into the event that your normal life will be on hold for a few days. Be ready for that. Eat well enough and sleep well enough to support what you are about to embark on.

That sounds basic, right? Right! And, it sets you up for success during the event. You won’t be traveling to the event frazzled because you had no sleep the days before, and you fueled poorly.

All conferences have agendas and schedules. Get the one for your conference as soon as you can, and start looking at what talks and what events are best suited for your goals, and your energy. Where are there gaps in the schedule for lunch or dinner? Those will be opportunities for you to slip out of conference hall and replenish your energy.

As you’re traveling to the event, give yourself the gift of doing nothing. Your life in the days before the event are going to be a whirlwind of activities and preparation. If you’re flying, and you’re lucky enough to get a window seat, just stare out the window, rather than at the inflight entertainment. Allow your brain to relax a little before the conference.

And, what does success look like for you for this event? Is it making new contacts and friends? Is it gaining new clarity in your work? What you do during the conference should focus on what you plan to get out of it.

During the event

Find your people. The one-on-one conversations you have with others event-goers is where the magic is. Introverts aren’t glad-handers, but we are adept at getting into conversations with interesting people. They are out there, it just takes a little bit of courage to introduce yourself to your seat mate. You never know what they know.

If you’re struggling with an icebreaker, try a twist on the usual what-do-you-do question. What about: What do you love about what you do? It makes people pause, and really consider what they truly love about their work.

Enjoy the event, in your own way. You’re spending a lot of energy, and money, to be in that hall. Make the most of it by being in the room and not on your phone. The notes that you take will be a great foundation for the next turn in your career. Look for the easy opportunities to start conversations.

Sitting in a good spot in the event hall is key for introverts to feel settled in. I like sitting near an aisle, at the back of the room. I get a better view of the event, and better sense of the room’s vibe. You see who’s engaged with the talks, and who’s excited about raising their hand to ask a question or make an observation.

And it’s easier to slip out for a snack break. Speaking of breaks…

Take breaks. Do slip of out the room to stretch your legs. The reset is great not just for your body, but your brain as well. And when you have the chance for lunch, get out of the conference hall and check out the town. You can enjoy a good meal, and synthesize everything you’ve been learning and connecting with. That time away from the hall and with yourself lets you process what’s been happening, what’s been said, and what it means for you.

Saying no is perfectly fine. There’s FOMO involved with feeling like you need to be at every post event mixer, happy hour and dinner. What am I going to miss if I don’t go? But a day of nonstop seminars and a happy hour sounds exhausting. If you’re feeling tapped out energy-wise, it’s ok to tap out of the activities.

Head back to your room, change clothes, and head out for a walk around town. Or, stay in and order in. Energy preservation is really important for introverts, and if ordering room service for the night is what you need to get your energy back, by all means, recharge.

After the event

You’re probably going to need to shut things down for a day once you get back home. You traveled a long way and exhausted a lot of energy over a weekend. You met new, interesting people, gained great ideas and clarity, and saw ways in which your career and life shift.

Hiding from the world for a day is ok. Sleep in if you have to, order in food if you have to.

Going to conferences can feel like an emotional bender, full of discovery, and awkward conversations. The aftermath can feel like you’re having a hangover, exhausted from all the energy you’ve expended. Closing the blinds and shutting off the phone for a day lets your body and mind reset, and come off the high of meeting new people and having new experiences.

Follow up! You’ve met lots of intriguing people over the past few days. And you’ve gathered some email addresses, too. Reach out to them with a note letting them know you were glad to have met them. Or glad to have seen them in person and not on a video chat. Those conversation starters can lead to amazing friendships and opportunities. Make sure to nurture the seeds you planted in that conference hall.

Networking events are a big stretch in energy for introverts. We are coming out of hiding, coming out of our safe spaces, to interact and to grow. We need to remember that the world needs what we have—our unique energy, our unique perspectives—and hiding away doesn’t help the world, and it doesn’t help us. We can thrive and show our gifts by showing up in the conference hall as our true and best selves.

I’m Richard Taliaferro. I’m a certified health and career coach specializing in helping mid-stage professionals gain clarity on their career journey. I’ve written a guide on how to escape the work hamster wheel.

Click here to

download yours.