Are You Faking Yourself Out of the Career You Really Want?

In a job search, or searching for what you truly want to do, are you faking yourself out?

And when you have so many options in front of you, how do you handle them?

As you’re walking the tightrope of choice, it can feel like you either have to jump at the first thing you see, or be so skeptical of what you do see, that you don’t make a move at all.

The hesitation you feel comes from not wanting to be burned, and not wanting to look silly. And I get that.

We all want to look like we know what we’re doing. We want to be competent, and have others think of us like that.

But occasionally, we stub our toes. We chased a so-so job listing. We started working with a company that wasn’t aligned with us. And we were somehow burned.

Then we become overly cautious about sending in a job application, reaching out to a recruiter or having that coffee chat with an old colleague.

And maybe, somehow, you cheated yourself out of a great opportunity.

How do you overcome that, so you can be in the place you want to be and the work you truly want to do?

Here are three ways to help you get to where you truly want to be:

You can say no

Eliud Kipchoge, one of the greatest marathoners, talks about taking vitamin N—saying no to the things that don’t serve you. I love that idea.

The world often tells us to hustle harder, say yes to everything, and "never miss an opportunity.” It’s very easy to feel like saying no means you're closing doors. Here’s what I want you to know: Saying no might be the most powerful yes you’ll ever give yourself.

And in fact, one of the best tools you can keep in your career toolkit is a pause button. You might get an offer that looks decent, but something feels off. Or maybe you're in a networking conversation, and someone pitches you a role that doesn't light you up. Rather than nod along out of politeness or pressure, ask yourself this: What’s the cost of saying yes to something that’s not right?

Sometimes, the best move forward is standing still long enough to see what really aligns with you.

You’re not alone

There’s a notion that career decisions are best made in isolation, as if you’re supposed to go deep into a cave, and come back into daylight with a five-year plan. Career change isn’t a solo sport. It’s more like a relay race or a cycling team—there are moments when someone else helps you carry the momentum.

That “someone” could be a trusted friend who reminds you of your strengths. It could be a coach who helps you sort through the noise. Or it could be a colleague who sees a potential in you that you may have forgotten along the way.

Even a single, well-placed question from someone you trust—“What do you want more of in your day-to-day work?”—can clear the fog in an instant. You don’t have to carry the questions alone. Let someone walk beside you.

Know who you are

Some people cannonball into change. Others will inch forward. Both are brave.

If you need to test the water first, go do that. There’s no gold medal for rushing. What matters is that it’s aligned with who you are. When you know your pace and honor it, you create change that sticks and not change that burns you out.

You can give yourself permission to take smaller steps. Test out ideas through freelance work. Volunteer for a cross-departmental project. Talk to someone who’s already in the role you're curious about. Instead of seeing it as hesitation, see it as informed curiosity. And that curiosity leads to more sustainable momentum in the long run.

I’m Richard Taliaferro. I’m a certified career and health coach specializing in helping mid-stage professionals gain clarity on their career journey. I’ve written a guide on how to escape the work hamster wheel. Click here to download yours.